This article appeared as "Collective Belonging" in the Spring 2023 issue of Independent School.I recently attended a concert in a 65,000-person-filled stadium. It was exactly what you’re envisioning: bass reverberating, fists pumping to emotion-exuding songs, everything augmented by lights and smoke. I had several realizations during this experience that got me thinking about community.
It had been a long time since I’d been to a concert; when was the last time I had done something so simultaneously joyful, intense, and deeply moving? There’s such supreme peace and beauty in a collective experience. A community of sorts, in unison, living a shared experience in wonder and awe.
I asked my 10-year-old son, who attends the same school in which I work, how his definition of school community has changed after his pandemic experience. “It’s where I respect everyone and everyone respects me,” he replied. “It’s sort of like my second family.” Again, a collective. Being a part of something bigger. Belonging. It’s not enough to simply use words to tell someone they belong. It must be shown, and it’s something you must truly feel to believe, just like music coursing through your body.
Prior to the pandemic, enrollment and fundraising dollars often determined an independent school’s successes. These are important, of course, but the past few years shifted our focus to things valuable and substantive in other ways. Although everyone lost a lot—much more than concerts—we found a more purposeful road toward community because we needed to ensure everyone, especially those who had to be kept at a distance out of necessity and safety, felt wholeheartedly connected and engaged in other ways. We needed to cultivate a sense of belonging. Everyone must feel they are included and a part of something bigger: a true community.
Although I wish our pre-pandemic focus had been on belonging, the lessons learned are also what makes our community special. This experience showed us how when personal belonging takes root, it can lead to group belonging, and our shared experiences over the past few years can bond us. If we have a secure and honest foundation of belonging in our community, our students, families, faculty, and staff know where to confidently turn for authentic support and genuine understanding.
Moving with intent through shared experiences means each of our community members can assuredly take the hand of those beside them. As one school, we can chart a path forward in the supreme peace and beauty of collective belonging.