NAIS - Overcoming Negativity Bias with Students, Parents, and Colleagues

At the end of a week, why do we focus on one difficult conversation we had with a parent rather than the dozens of recent positive interactions we’ve had?

As we start a new initiative, why do we let one anxious colleague bring us down rather than feeling uplifted by the rest of our peers who are eager to jump in with both feet?

Why does a student who earns 95 percent on a math test ruminate about the 5 percent she missed, rather than feel good about the 95 percent she aced?

It’s because negativity bias is at work.

While on the surface it might appear that some people are inherently pessimistic, using words like “can’t” and “won’t” (the “Winnie the Pooh” character Eeyore comes to mind), the tendency to focus on the bad stuff is hardwired into our DNA. Our ancestors, whose daily goal was survival, were constantly on the lookout for danger. If they only noticed the warm breeze and the beautiful landscape, chances are, they wouldn’t have survived to tell anyone about it—a lion would have eaten them for dinner.

Negativity bias is the natural tendency for us to zero in on unpleasant thoughts and experiences, distorting their importance. Neuroscientist Rick Hanson says: “The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive ones.” We easily absorb unpleasant experiences while we involuntarily deflect the gratifying ones. “Humans generally learn faster from pain than pleasure,” Hanson says.

Students put a lot of pressure on themselves, which is reinforced by educators and parents, not to mention society. This can activate perseveration on one small mistake, rather than the celebration of many accomplishments every day. This tendency not only applies to our students, but it also applies to adults.

Think of some of the mistakes you may have made, such as under-preparing for a lesson, sharing an inappropriate remark with a colleague, or miscalculating a student’s grade. Did you find yourself obsessing over that one misstep? What about all the lessons you’ve nailed, or the myriad professional and empathetic conversations you’ve had with your peers, or the hundreds of accurate grades you’ve calculated? Well, you probably learned more from the mistakes, because that’s what resonates the most; the discomfort propels us to avoid making the same blunder in the future.

The part of our brain called the amygdala is in charge of our responses and memories of emotions, particularly fear. Some call it a “danger detector” or “early warning system.” Because of our strong negative perception of a situation, we tend to react more quickly and more strongly. That’s why we sometimes “tank” when a parent, student, or colleague criticizes our work; it’s why our students complain about the one problem they missed on the test, rather than take pride in the nine problems they got right.

So, what can we do to combat negativity bias?

Be aware of your tendencies. For example, “Why did that parent complain to my division head, instead of speaking directly to me?” Pause for a moment, and realize that for many parents, it's easier to talk through concerns with someone who is removed from the situation. Oftentimes, this ends up being a division head or dean.
Focus on the positive details. Take more time to enjoy positive experiences, such as when a colleague thanks you for supporting him or her during a difficult time.
Keep a gratitude journal. Write down things you’re thankful for or feel good about. Replay a positive interaction with a student or the enthusiasm you generated during the faculty meeting. Doing this before bedtime can be a satisfying way of closing the day.
Keep a folder or box of accomplishments. Collect student exemplars, certificates from conferences, awards, photographs, thank-you notes/emails, and other items that inspire pride. When you’re feeling low, open up the folder or box, and remind yourself of your successes.
Do a “positivity” lab with colleagues or students. If you’re replaying a negative experience in your head, get a bowl of water (positive thoughts) and put a droplet of food coloring (negative thoughts) in it. At first, the food coloring will look dark and bold, but soon it will mix with the water until eventually you won’t be able to see the color at all.

Social psychologists have studied the brain’s ability to be rewired toward positivity, which takes intentionality and regular practice. Observe your negative thoughts, and rather than try to suppress them, ask yourself, “Is this really a big deal?” Try to come up with solutions. As we all know, emotions are temporary, so if you’re able to soften the negative edges that come with unpleasant experiences, chances are you’ll soon find yourself reframing the way you look at things.

So, next time a parent judges you unfairly, you clash with a colleague, or a student challenges your grading practices, try to remember the scores of great decisions you make and the inspiring interactions you have every single day.