At Brentwood School (California), as at most schools, we go to a lot of meetings. While each meeting is important in its own way, we have to say honestly that not every meeting could be called "special." But that was not the case in one community-changing meeting last academic year.
Throughout the year, the two of us meet regularly with a group comprising the parent leaders of the school's various affinity groups - Black Student Association, Latino Student Association, Gay Straight Alliance (also known as the Pride Project), Persian Student Association, Asian Student Association, and Parents of Students of African Descent. We discuss a wide variety of topics ranging from upcoming events (Affinity Potlucks and Diversity Day) to parent education and family experiences. Each meeting provides us with greater insight and understanding along with ways to make our community better, more inclusive. This particular meeting stood out, however, because we were joined by a number of students, faculty, and staff members who had recently attended the 2014 NAIS People of Color Conference (PoCC) and Student Diversity Leadership Conference (SDLC) in Indianapolis.
More than 3,800 independent school students, faculty, and staff of color, along with white allies, attended the two NAIS events to, as the organizers put it, "examine ways in which our independent and group paths circle and cross" as we reflect on our "journey to safe and fully inclusive school communities." Brentwood sent eight upper school students and nine faculty/staff, including both of us as presenters. When we returned, we were eager to hear attendees reflect on their time at the conference, which we know can be a transformational experience.
What we heard over the next 90 minutes was heartfelt, reflective, and honest. What stands out about the PoCC and SDLC conferences is that much of what happens is based on people telling their stories - which is exactly what happened at our meeting. Faculty members shared how it felt to be surrounded by others who understand what it's like to be a person of color in an independent school - both the challenges and the rewards. We heard memories of those who grew up in neighborhoods and schools in which everyone was "the same" and the experiences they faced when they went to college or moved to another place. We listened to our students talk about SDLC: how they felt they could speak openly and honestly without feeling judged and how they made instant friends through shared experiences. We also heard them reflect on their Brentwood experience and the reality that, while everyone may not always understand them, they feel a strong sense of belonging in the community. Parents asked questions, wanting to understand, listening intently, and appreciating the students' and faculty candor.
What we witnessed was moving and incredibly memorable - and a great reminder of the importance of such conversations.
A few years ago, we undertook the Assessment of Inclusivity and Multiculturalism (AIM) survey, through which we gathered an abundance of information. The results led us to add several programs - including a Seeking Education Equity and Diversity (SEED) group, the Parent Affinity Group mentioned above, and student-led Affinity and Allies Weeks during the year - to improve our efforts to become a well functioning muliticultural community. We also enhanced the curriculum, expanded affinity groups, and added "diversity" to our core values. What struck us that morning, among other things, was a significant, unplanned outcome of AIM: the opportunity to continue conversations that result in stronger relationships. It is through the telling of stories and the sharing of thoughts and suggestions with those who are genuinely listening that we strengthen our community.
As colleagues in other schools start a new school year, we encourage all to follow the lead of the students, faculty, staff, and parents we met with that morning: Have the courage to tell your story - and listen carefully to those who are open to sharing their stories with you. It's the best way to transform a community.