The first year of my first headship was like a honeymoon. It was primarily marked by listening and learning, figuring out what I did not know, and showing up—anywhere and everywhere—with a smile. I started my headship by attending the NAIS Institute for New Heads, and it was the best professional learning experience I had ever had. There, I learned that I had a lot to learn.As I was introduced to my school community, people greatly appreciated my presence at events. Community members wanted to meet me and share their unique stories of what Kent School (MD) meant to them. It was joyful and incredibly informative. During that first academic year, I could say “I don’t know about that yet” and feel confident that no one would judge my inexperience. I began to build trust by being open and fully present.
As year two began, I noticed a shift in tone. Expectations were high now that I was supposed to know everything there was to know about the school—and when I didn’t, people were annoyed, or worse, angry. Also, anxiety seemed high as I began to implement some small and larger shifts in the school. I heard time and again that “the honeymoon was over.” It seemed like everyone I worked with shared this feeling to some degree, and it culminated in a difficult faculty meeting. I took it to heart and had many sleepless nights as I tried to understand the shift. I soon came to realize two things. First, change is hard even when change may be needed. Second, headship is a fragile web of special relationships with many diverse personalities, each one requiring a different tact to build it. Each relationship must be cared for over time to ultimately advance the school.
I consider myself to be an empathetic leader, one who tries hard to understand others’ feelings and perspectives, but I need to remind myself often not to become so emotionally invested that I compromise my beliefs or cannot evaluate a situation clearly. Listening to difficult personal stories from employees or parents and trying to help can take an emotional toll.
As I settle into year three, I’ve been reflecting on why year two was harder than the first and what this year will be like. Here’s what I know: Headship is a journey and a calling to make a difference in the lives of students. I believe the following guiding principles will help new heads, especially in year two and beyond.
Nurture Relationships
Heads know that fostering a strong relationship with the board president is the key to the success of a school. I am fortunate to have a board president who is deeply invested in the long-term sustainability of the school—and of me. We have attended professional learning workshops on governance together as a team. We have an open line of communication with honest dialogue, and have maintained weekly check-in phone calls, which started in my first month at the school. In my first year, the new director of finance and operations and I came to realize that the school’s finances needed to be more carefully maintained and monitored using industry best practices. We worked very closely with the board president and the finance committee to share our future plan for financial sustainability. I believe that because of the power of our board president-head relationship, built upon trust and respect, the school rests on a more solid foundation.There are also many other relationships that new heads must build quickly and confidently, internally and externally: individual trustees, faculty and staff members, donors, parents, grandparents, alumni, and, most especially, students. I know each of our students by name, and that is so important. I have made it a point to meet individuals for meals and spend time with them as they share their hopes and dreams for the school. No one can be neglected. It is not easy to develop trust among hundreds of people so they each feel they have a personal relationship with the head. I have found the best way to build relationships is to constantly use touchpoints such as phone calls and personal notes.
Never stop prioritizing building relationships and meeting new people who are connected to the school. This is an ongoing effort, and the more heads can do early on in their tenure, the more support they will have. Heads need to get off campus, and sometimes even out of state, to meet and get to know alumni, loyal supporters, former heads, and former faculty. Heads can learn something valuable from everyone they meet.
Lead with a Purpose
Embrace the school’s purpose, its mission. Know it. Internalize it. Make every decision based on the school’s mission. Heads cannot go wrong if they follow this golden rule. The school’s mission is always your ally, sometimes even when others may not agree with you. Read the mission before every meeting. My school’s mission is framed in my office; it includes the words “student-centered.” Thus, whenever a change or idea is introduced, we always ask: Is it best for our students? If the answer is “yes,” move forward. If the answer is “I don’t know,” move on to another idea.Build Your Team and Value Their Perspectives
Highly effective teams work together toward a common goal. Everyone must be on board, and it takes at least two years to get the right people in the right seats on the bus (with a nod to author Jim Collins and Good to Great). Then, let them soar; let them work, and let them think strategically. And, of course, listen. Year two is a great time for heads to assess whether they have the right people in the right roles. It is hard to do in year one until you have watched them in action for an entire academic year. It also takes at least a year to assess the strengths and challenges of the team.Share the Love
Headship is not a marriage, but love is a necessary ingredient. I have found that everything stems from your love of your students. Know them. Invite them to your office for snacks and conversation. Literally, open your door! You will be surprised who comes in. I always love visits from entire classes of students, but I especially enjoy the many days when at least one student stops by, sometimes just to show me a tooth that has fallen out.A former colleague used to say, “Happy students mean happy parents, and happy parents give to the school.” True, but happy students and happy parents also can promote and market your school in the most effective way. Word of mouth is the most powerful tool to convince others to try your school. If you keep love at the forefront, you can make the buzz about your school truly exciting.
Being a head of school is the best job I’ve had. Yes, some days are more trying than others, but in no other workplace do you get to look the future in the eyes each and every day. And I am convinced, now more than ever, that year three is when you actually get to take all you’ve learned and begin to make a difference.